How low can the Mets go?

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Lenny Dykstra sentenced to three years in Prison for Grand Theft Auto

Let it rain!  Let it rain!

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How low can the Mets go?

ABC News – The New York Mets’ owners must pay up to $83 million to the trustee recovering money for Bernard Madoff investors, a judge said Monday, though he expressed doubt that the trustee will succeed in proving at a trial this month that he’s entitled to as much as $300 million more.

 Another week, another installment.  This blog practically writes itself.  Hope Fred has a shit ton more of those 5 dollar bills.  I actually don’t know how to feel about this.  On the surface, it’s obviously a huge setback to a team who’s finances make the Greek economy look like it’s run by fucking Warren Buffett.  On the other hand, maybe if it keeps getting worse, Wilpon will have no choice but to sell the team.
 
PS – Great article here about how the Mets have absolutely no depth and will essentially be fielding a farm team if anyone gets hurt this year.  Good thing the Mets are great at staying healthy, ahem… Apparently their best lefty off the bench is a former pitcher with 39 major league at bats.  Couldn’t make this stuff up if I tried.

friedchips tips for successful life living: tip 1

If you attend a bachelor party where you don’t know most of the people, and somebody offers you a pot cookie, politely decline.

Or accept… and then spend the next two hours questioning why you were even invited to the party, when you are obviously a complete loser that nobody likes.  Spend an entire dinner sitting uncomfortably across from two dudes you don’t really know and wondering if they are totally weirded out that you haven’t said a word in what seems like hours.  Focus intently on how every move you make is unfathomably awkward and strange.  Hold in your pee for like an hour because you think it may seem weird if you get up and go to the bathroom.  Keep trying to convince yourself that this is just the pot making you paranoid, and that the other 12 people at the table aren’t all secretly laughing at you behind your back.  Pray to god that you start to feel normal before the strip club, because interacting with strippers seems like the worst possible scenario in the world at that moment.  Yup, just politely decline, even if they say it’s mild.  Trust me.  It’s not worth the risk.

“Premature Launch”

A new feature that wasn’t part of Rmurdera’s past blog iterations, creating a poll as a lazy copout to actually writing an insightful post.  Here’s the first one:

Worst Invitation Ever

[Editor-in-Chief’s Note: the following blog was written by Friedchips (terrible name), who may or may not be a part time contributor to this publication–we’ll see if he can find time to get away from his busy schedule of fake-pretending to care about all of God’s creatures.  Rather than post a rebuttal to some of his slanderous remarks in this post, I choose to move on.  Just know that he’s been practically begging me to start a new blog for the better part of a year now.  -Rmurdera]

 

You know how people always complain about this generation being an entitled bunch of douchebags?  Well rmurdera pretty much confirmed as much with that inaugural “blog post,” if you can call it that.  I freaking gave this kid his start in the blogging business.  I showed him the ropes.  I taught him the do’s and don’ts.  I busted his blogging cherry, or as I like to call it, his bloggerry.  Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day.  Teach a man to fish, and he’ll go upstream and steal all your fucking fish.  Bottom line is I bent over backwards showing him how to write and run an earth shatteringly awesome blog that never got the respect it deserved.  And what does he do?

He jumps ship.  He complains about the name of my blog because his feeble mind can’t comprehend the intrinsic irony of it.  And then he starts his own strangely titled blog and basically rips me to shreds.  Hates my name, hates my blog. hates my editorial decisions.  Did I delete one of his posts once?  Yes, but only because it made NO FUCKING SENSE!  If memory serves me correctly, his basic thesis was that people who volunteer their time and money to help animals are assholes because there are people who need help and they deserve it more.  By that philosophy, the police should only spend their time stopping murderers and rapists, and stop wasting their time on pesky small time criminals and thieves.  Heck, instead of wasting time writing this blog, maybe I should just use this time helping people in need.  I could be out helping some poor fool who has no idea how to run a blog or live his life….  Wait, I guess that is what I’m doing writing this blog.