The number one reason why I hate Facebook with a passion is because it gives people an open forum to publicize any information they want (kind of like a blog, you might say). And if we want to be someone’s “friend,” we really have no choice but to endure all of their crazy posts. And god forbid you don’t accept friend requests from everyone you’ve ever looked at throughout your life…
For many people, Facebook is an acceptable platform to overshare. You know the type of person I’m talking about…she just has to let everyone know important details like, “it’s day 3 of my period, give me 2 more days and I should be a normal person again…whatever normal is for me LOL :)”.
I’m here to tell you that if you think you have a friend who is the ultimate over-sharer, you’re wrong. I’ve found that person, and I dare anyone to find a worse Facebook friend. When she first friend-requested me, I had no idea who she was…still don’t. But thank the lord that I accepted because I never could have predicted her outrageous posts would lead to so many hours of entertainment for me and my (real life) friends.
I’ve decided to withhold her name, and to cover up any details that will identify her…I’m really not sure why. After all, she put this stuff on Facebook knowing it was essentially public info. Still…I do have an ounce of sympathy in my body.
Without further ado, I present a stroll through the wall posts of a possibly insane woman (I’m terribly sorry for all of the misspellings throughout her posts. It’s very distracting, I agree):
Let’s begin with her profile. Her “info section” is the length of the Bible, but I pulled out just my favorite section, specifically the first few sentences here:
So she’s got a solid plan to find a guy. Good for her. She almost seems optimistic about life, right? Let’s check in with how she was feeling about one month ago:
Maybe someone can give her some perspective that if she’s updating Facebook on her laptop, and probably checking on her 45 Farmville games on her iPhone, things maybe aren’t so bad. But I’m gonna give her the benefit of the doubt. Maybe it was just a particularly bad day. Let’s back track a little and see how our girl was doing around the holidays last year:
Yikes. Umm, I’m choosing to pass on any comments about that post. I think it speaks for itself. Turns out her profile snippet is a bit old and she actually does have a boyfriend. Let’s check in on what must be a healthy relationship:
Good god. I just wanna give this poor girl a hug. My favorite part is how 18 minutes after she posted this, she tried to throw out the old “hypothetically speaking, of course.” Sure, over-sharer, sure.
So there you go. The challenge is in front of you. Find me someone who misuses her Facebook privileges more than this girl, and I’ll buy you a beer.