Last week the guy who runs another blog that I write for emailed his whole staff asking each of us to submit a 10-song playlist of our choosing that will go head-to-head in a vote on the website. Whoever’s playlist gets more votes is the winner (not sure if we’re playing for a tangible award or just pride). The voting hasn’t opened yet or else you can bet your ass I’d be linking to it so all my readers could vote for my songs.

But I thought I’d give you a sneak peek anyway. The only rule was that we should try to make the playlist have a theme of sorts. I’m sure the smart people chose themes like 80s hairband songs, 90s alternative, top 10 songs of 2013, best 10 songs to have sex to, etc, etc.

I chose “The 10 best slow songs from your middle school & high school dances (assuming you’re in your late 20s or early 30s right now)”.

How’s that for a very specific theme-oriented playlist?

While I think this is pretty much the definitive list, I suppose I’m open to reader feedback and suggestions on slow songs I might have missed. If there’s a song not listed that brings back a special memory of your awkward dancing from your teens, please go ahead and leave a comment.

As far as this list goes, I’ve tried to organize it in the order I’d play these songs if I was DJing a dance. You might think the order doesn’t matter, but that would be a huge mistake. You can’t open the slow dancing with something like “I Will Always Love You” by Whitney Houston. That just wouldn’t make sense, and it would scare all the boys off before the girls get a chance to drag them out onto the dance floor.

Here’s the list (with links to each song on YouTube in case your memory has started slipping already):

1). “Kiss From a Rose” by Seal

If I’m DJing this dance, I’m starting the slow dancing off with a light, almost jokey song like this that the kids can sing to each other while doing their best Batman impressions.

2). “(Everything I Do) I Do It For You” by Bryan Adams

And I’m following it up with some magic by Bryan Adams.

3). “I Swear” by All-4-One

After two warm up songs, I’d drop the mother fucking hammer on those unsuspecting 8th graders. Just hit ‘em hard with the most deadly material in my arsenal, courtesy of slow dance specialists All-4-One (nothing guaranteed at least a little make out session later that night more than belting out every lyric to this song while slow dancing with a girl).

4). “My Heart Will Go On” by Celine Dion

Such a polarizing song in high school. The girls went absolutely nuts over it, and the guys hated it. Not indifferent to it like most slow songs, specifically hated it. Probably because as a gender we weren’t allowed to like Titanic, Leo, or anything associated with that movie. This was usually when the guys would go to the bathroom or take a break while the girls slow danced with each other.

5). “I Don’t Wanna Miss a Thing” by Aerosmith

But the guys were NOT allowed to miss the Armageddon song. For some reason the corny love story of Ben Affleck and Liv Tyler resonated with the high school girls much more than Leo and Kate Winslett’s.

6). “All My Life” by K-Ci & JoJo

After a couple songs for the ladies, this one’s for the guys. Because every guy at every dance in the history of dances has pretended they were either K-Ci or JoJo in their music video for this song. There’s not a lot of dancing involved, mostly just looking up at the ceiling and spinning slowly with your arms out.

7). “You’re Still The One” by Shania Twain

Girls were obsessed with Shania Twain back in my high school days. And I’m only kind of embarrassed to tell you that I was so P-whipped back then that I had a Shania tape in my car at all times and told my girlfriend I enjoyed listening to it nonstop when she was with me.

8). “I Will Always Love You” by Whitney Houston

How did we even dance to this song? It’s too slow to slow dance to (possibly my favorite sentence I’ve ever written). You just kinda stood there in the middle of the dance floor and waited to scream out “AND IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII-EEE-IIIIIIII WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU”.

9). “I Will Remember You” by Sarah McLaughlan 

You’ll remember this one as the penultimate song played at senior prom. The DJ would announce “OK, Seniors, this is officially your last dance in high school, make it count.” And inevitably all the single people would convince the entire class to dance in a large circle, totally hijacking the last dance from the couples.

10). “End Of The Road” by Boyz II Men

And as the tears flowed from Ms. McLaughlan’s heartfelt ballad, Boyz II Men officially brought the night to a close.

Here are some honorable mentions that came to mind during the construction of this playlist:

• “Wonderful Tonight” by Eric Clapton
• “Always” by Bon Jovi
• “In The Still of the Nite (I Remember)” by Boyz II Men (cover)
• “On Bended Knee” by Boyz II Men
• “Graduation” by Vitamin C
• “A Whole New World” by whoever sings that Aladdin song
• “Here’s To The Night” by Eve 6
• “I’ll Be” by Edwin McCain
• “I Can Love You Like That” by All-4-One

So what did I miss?