If I was excited about tonight’s new and returning TV shows, I might start this article by writing “Happy Mother’s Day, everyone!”

Tonight CBS is doubling down with mom-themed shows. There’s the old standby How I Met Your Mother beginning its final season, and the brand new Mom setting sail on its maiden voyage.

As was the case last week, we’ve reviewed the potential of both shows for you below. I hate spoilers as much as the next guy, but I’ll at least tell you that you probably won’t be sprinting to your nearest remote control to add these shows to your DVR list before they air tonight.

I’m keeping my fingers crossed that later in the week there will be some legitimately interesting shows to review. Until then, enjoy the live-audience programming that tens of millions of people apparently love.

New Show

Mom

When & Where: 9:30pm on CBS

What: A family sitcom about a recovering alcoholic single mom who has a mom of her own who’s also an alcoholic/bad influence. It feels like the mother-daughter version of Two Broke Girls (a comparison you’d only understand if you currently watch that horrific CBS show, which starts back up tonight…but we won’t be reviewing it because once again, it’s terrible).

Who: Anna Faris plays the lead role, and Allison Janney plays her mom. And Badger from Breaking Bad plays the father of Anna Faris’ daughter.

Ross’s Take: Pass. I know there’s going to be an audience for this show because it comes from the Chuck Lorre/CBS factory (together they’ve created Two and a Half Men, The Big Bang Theory and Mike & Molly, all current CBS hits). So if you’re a fan of those other shows, you’ll probably want to check out Mom. But other than The Big Bang Theory, I can’t stand the live-audience sitcoms. The humor is…unintelligent? nonexistent? stuff that I might have found funny 10 years ago? You know how it goes…there are people whose sense of humor gravitates towards things like Arrested Development and Parks & Recreation, and then there are people who get their comedy rocks off to the dull CBS shows of the world. It’s not wrong of you to like these shows. It just means you’re less educated than the rest of us.

I give this show a 1 out of 5, but like all of the shows in my previews, I’ll watch the first episode and recalibrate if I have to.

Julie’s Take: The trailer didn’t make me laugh and couldn’t even keep my attention. I give it a 2 out of 5, so I’m still giving it a chance. And I don’t want to sound like a mean person because I’m sure Anna Faris is a good person and funny, but I just don’t find her funny at all.

(I can attest to the fact that this is the first TV trailer out of all the previews we’ve done where she walked away in the middle. And not even to do something more interesting…she went to straighten her hair rather than finish watching.)

Returning Show

How I Met Your Mother

When & Where: 8:00pm on CBS

What: A sitcom that centers around five friends living in New York in their early 30s, with a specific focus on Ted Mosby’s never-ending search for his soulmate.

Who: Main characters are played by Neil Patrick Harris, Alyson Hannigan and Jason Segel. The other two main actors are apparently terrible and you wouldn’t have seen them in anything else.

Ross’s Take: I already poured my heart out in August about the most troubling aspect of this show: that the stakes of whiney douchebag Ted finding his true love aren’t high enough to keep me invested as the show continually strings us along to that fateful meeting between him and the future mother. And for a show that used to be genuinely funny, it’s become genuinely unfunny. And let’s face it, if you’ve never watched this show before today, you’re not going to start now. Too many inside jokes and humor that’s derived from previous episodes. And if you have watched every episode to this point, my negative review probably isn’t going to sway you. But I won’t back down from my stance in that August article that after watching the first eight years of this show, I’m quitting with only 20 episodes left.

Julie’s Take: I hate that show but I am gonna watch it for sure. I would not miss it. I give it a 4.5 out of 5 in that I’m definitely going to watch it, but I give it only a 2.5 out of 5 for how much I actually like it.

We’ll be back tomorrow with a handful of shows that might actually have promise. Stay tuned.