Wanna give it another shot? I’m not talking about a long term commitment. We both know the honeymoon phase will be brief. We’ll post some blogs in a rapid fire way for 2-3 days. A couple friends will make underwhelming comments on our posts, and we’ll bathe in a tub of self-satisfaction. But then one day I’ll actually do the work assigned to me at my job, and I’ll tell you that I’ll write my posts later that night. But then I’ll get sucked into Shark Tank or something equally awesome on TV, and the posts won’t come. And then you’ll cut your posting to once every two days, which you’ll say is ok because “at least I’m still doing more than Rmurdera.” And that’s sad. And then the blog is dead again.
But enough about the future, let’s dwell on the past some more. We had some great times with that blog, didn’t we? There was the time you censored my post on animals, and then the time you said you were censoring my post, but I hadn’t posted in 5 days so you had no choice but to allow it. And then the time you publicly called me out for bitching to you about an editorial decision I didn’t like. And you even told me to go start my own blog…warm memories that are right up there with my first time masturbating (joking about my first time being a warm memory–I was frightened that something was really wrong with me).
Despite what you might think, it wasn’t all that bullying from you that caused my disappearance over the last 10 months. I think the beginning of the end came when you were unwilling to have an open mind about changing the blog’s name. “Meh” by (urban)definition is an expression of indifference–used when one simply does not care. In spending countless hours writing a blog about things that anger you or make you chuckle, you are by definition caring about those things. If the blog’s title is hypocritical, what does that say to the readers? Come here for your daily dose of hypocracy?
Anyway, enough of the past; let’s talk present. If you’re willing to give it another shot, I can commit to you that I already have as many as TWO posts ready to go. One is terrible, and the other is solid but I haven’t thought of it yet.
Here’s my list of Demands:
-I’m in charge
-I have final say on all content–because I’m in charge
-You don’t even think up a new post before you tell me what it’s about–because I’m in charge
-You will certainly never, ever, under any circumstances suggest a name change to the blog…your track record is meh
-While I will try my hardest not to post content celebrating the harm of animals, I reserve the right to do so if I think it’s blog-worthy…and you will live with it
-Change your blogging nickname. Friedchips makes you sound like a wiener…you gotta try something that demands respect. People see “Rmurdera” and they know if they don’t read my blog, their entire family might end up dead the next day
And if you’re on board, well, I’m gonna really need you to pull your weight plus mine this week as I’m off to Vegas until Friday.
Your new Editor-in-Chief/Overlord