Get your dick cream ready….

Get ready to smear some mud on your ass!  And definitely get ready to hump the shit out of your refrigerator!  Cause it looks like Gene and the whole crew from Wet Hot American Summer are coming back, for Wet Hot American Summer 2!!!  Seriously, I don’t think I can put enough exclamation points on the end of these sentences to truly capture how exciting this news is.   It’s like the equivalent of getting your drivers license, eating your first Anna’s burrito and getting laid for the first time all on the same day.  It’s like 10 years of anticipation culminating in one final awesomely climactic moment of freedom, carnitas and awkward car sex.  Wet Hot is a freaking classic.  I could watch that movie any time, dinner time, literally any time.

On Thursday’s Daily Show, Paul Rudd mentioned that David Wain and Michael Showalter are in the process of writing the sequel, and some random dude from some site I’ve never heard of confirms it in this article.  While Wet Hot is my favorite comedy of all time, I have to say it totally ruined Law In Order SVU for me.  Christopher Meloni is clearly wasting his comedic talents on that show, and now all I think about when he’s investigating a sexual assault is Gene prancing around showing Coop his “new way” or talking to his can of mixed vegetables.  Unfortunately, some people find it to be in poor taste to laugh out loud when the SVU cops uncover another child rape.

Anyway, I’ve always mocked those Lord of The Rings and Harry Potter weirdos who stand in line for hours in their ridiculous costumes to catch the premieres of those movies, but when the time comes, I can guarantee that I’ll be out there in my cut off jean shorts and belly shirt fondling some sweaters.  Who wants to come as the can of veggies?

Bachelor Party in Tahoe: Golden Showers for Everyone

Ahhh, I got you.  You thought the Golden Shower reference was gonna be something gross, like a story about us ordering strippers for the bachelor and then he gives them a golden shower while we all sit around and rub oil on each other laugh.  Well you’re wrong!  Sickos… And by the way, if you’re reading this and have no idea what a golden shower is, well grandma & grandpa, you’re too old to be reading my blog anyway.

A full 7 days have passed since I participated in an epic Bachelor Party in Tahoe, and thus the ban of silence has been lifted.  I’m now free to talk about the weekend in the vaguest possible terms.  For all the guys that were part of the party, my advice for when your ladies ask if these poll answers are referring to something you personally did: just blame it on me.  Win-win.

And away we go…