Reader Trivia Answers: We have a Winner! (And Many Losers)

I promised answers to all the trivia I unleashed on my readers earlier this week, and I never break a promise.

Let’s begin with the three poll questions I posed in this post.

First, the answer to which country (not counting the US, UK, Australia and Canada) has read my blog the most. Germany was the runaway winner according to my readers’ votes with 42% of the total vote, followed by Japan and Singapore, each with 21% of the vote. But none of those answers was correct. The right answer is Egypt, which got only one vote. Congrats to whoever said Egypt!

Next, there was the question of which blog post was the least read of all time. According to the voters, this was an obvious answer. A whopping 63% of the responders said “Euro Update: Are We Supposed to be Excited about 1-1 Draws” was the least read blog of all time. I get the reasoning behind this…no one likes soccer. But the soccer blog was not actually the least read. The post titled “March Madness: More Than Just Basketball to Help End Relationships” is actually the least clicked on blog so far. Once again, only one person voted for this option…congrats once again to that person (and if the same person got the Egypt answer correct, wow).

The final poll question in this article asked the readers to vote on which blog was the most read of all time. For those of you who voted for the Bieber Blog, the Bachelor Parties Blog, the Opening the Kimono on Work Jargon Blog or the Scamming Restaurants with the Bereavement Menu blog, I’m sorry, but you’re wrong. None of those blogs even cracked the top 15 for most overall views. So it’s down to either “A Thorough Examination of Bird Poop Being Good Luck” or “Perfectly Good Excuses For Leaving Work Early.”

Those two posts are actually the top two most read on my blog, but in what order?

Almost 60% of the voters picked the Leaving Work Early post as the winner. And not a single person voted for the Bird Poop post. The readers missed badly here…the Bird Poop post is the most-read blog of all time!! And the Leaving Work Early post is a DISTANT second…over 100 less views than the Bird Poop.

Why is the Bird Poop article so popular? No idea, but it’s amazing that when I look at my stats every few days, the Bird Poop post has increased by another 5-10 views. It’s the gift that keeps on giving for the WBFF blog.

And now, the moment you’ve all been waiting for…did anyone guess all 12 pictures correctly in the Around the Clock Trivia from Monday?

Out of all the responses, this picture seemed to trip people up the most:

That is a picture of a lake in Wakefield, Massachusetts…Julie’s hometown.

Out of hundreds of guesses, there were three people worth highlighting. Two of them (Mike “The Dream”, and Aaron “Pueto”) only got one picture wrong: Mike, guessing Wakefield was actually the Ozarks, and Aaron guessing “somewhere in Europe” for picture #3, which was Barcelona (Aaron was technically right, but the judges were looking for something more specific).

And finally, we had one winner: Neil “Nkilla” Gariepy. Here was Neil’s guesses:

1. LA
2. Boston
3. Barcelona
4. Fitchburg
5. San Francisco
6. Heavenly/South Lake
7. York Beach
8. Yosemite/Vernal Falls
9. Monterey
10. Napa/Sonoma
11. Wakefield/Lake Quannapowitt
12. La Jolla/San Diego

So, Neil, what will it be? A free In-n-Out/Five Guys meal on your first trip down to LA? Or an autographed photo of two of LA’s most famous people? You do not get any bonus prize for being extra specific with your answers.

If I do future contests, I will probably put in fine print that “immediate family members of WBFF blog employees are ineligible” so that other people besides Neil have a chance to win something.

Perfectly good excuses for leaving work early (Supplement to my previous post)

So by now you’ve read my blog post titled, “How to avoid working while giving off the impression that you’re working.”  If you haven’t, I suggest you check it out here.

But you might be saying to yourself, “Well that’s some great advice if I actually want to sit through a full day of work at the office, but what if I just can’t stand being at work?  How do I leave early without having to take paid time off or sick time?”

I’m glad you asked because I’ve got that covered too.  I’ve used all of these throughout my career.  Just don’t be an idiot and overuse them.  The best situation is when you’re constantly getting a new boss so you can reuse these plays without fear of being caught.  I’ve now had four different bosses in 22 months at my current job.

1). You left your car in a parking spot that turns into a tow zone at 4pm: During my second week at this current job, I was sitting at my desk around 3:30 waiting for the day to end when all of the sudden panic set in.  I never moved my car off a street that turns into a tow zone at 4pm (due to traffic coming into the city for the Giants games).  If I didn’t make it home in 30 minutes, I’d be looking at a minimum of $350 in towing fees.  I ran over to my boss, told him what was up, and he said, “Go take care of it.  See you tomorrow.”  Forty-five seconds later as I was in the elevator, I realized I had actually moved my car earlier that morning.  It didn’t matter…I had inadvertently created a great excuse to leave work.  I’ve used that two more times since that day.

2). The maintenance guy is doing some work in your apartment and things have gone missing before when he was there: As soon as you tell your boss that your maintenance guy is a potential criminal, you’ll be immediately excused from work so you can go protect your possessions while he fixes up your apartment.  No questions asked.  And this is one you can reuse sparingly even with the same boss.  Washer/dryer isn’t working…roof is leaking…rat infestation…plenty of different reasons your maintenance guy could be making multiple calls to your apartment.

3). There’s an important package being delivered to your apartment that you have to sign for: This one is weaker than the first two, but in a pinch it can work.  If you can get your boss to understand exactly why it’s so important, even better.  I’ve tried this one before, but I don’t suggest using it: “My mom sent an Easter package and if I don’t get the Cadbury Mini-Eggs in the fridge right away, they won’t be the perfect amount of cold when I try to eat them later.”

4). You have to pick up your brother/girlfriend/cousin at the airport: For some reason, picking someone up from the airport works well, even though everyone knows that person is perfectly capable of taking a cab or public transportation up to the city.  When I first moved to San Francisco, I used this one every other week, and my boss just assumed that all of my relatives were coming to visit me in my new city.  Just don’t say you have to go pick up your friend.  Family members and significant others work; friends for some reason do not.

5). Find out your boss’s interests and work off of them: I’ve had a boss who was a big time skier.  All I ever had to do during the winter is tell him on a Friday morning that I was leaving early that afternoon to drive up to Tahoe.  He was perfectly fine with it because he understands how awful it is to leave for Tahoe after a full day of work.  He was even a little jealous and would tell me fun skiing stories whenever I told him I was taking off early.  I’ve also had bosses who were huge Boston sports fans.  Sometimes before I could even ask, he’d beat me to the punch by asking if I was heading home early to catch the Celtics playoff game or the Patriots Monday night game.  Absolutely I’m planning to leave early for that.  I’ve never had a woman boss, but I bet I would have gone with, “I’m leaving early to see the new Sex And the City Movie,” if it would have gotten me out early.

Bachelor Party in Tahoe: Golden Showers for Everyone

Ahhh, I got you.  You thought the Golden Shower reference was gonna be something gross, like a story about us ordering strippers for the bachelor and then he gives them a golden shower while we all sit around and rub oil on each other laugh.  Well you’re wrong!  Sickos… And by the way, if you’re reading this and have no idea what a golden shower is, well grandma & grandpa, you’re too old to be reading my blog anyway.

A full 7 days have passed since I participated in an epic Bachelor Party in Tahoe, and thus the ban of silence has been lifted.  I’m now free to talk about the weekend in the vaguest possible terms.  For all the guys that were part of the party, my advice for when your ladies ask if these poll answers are referring to something you personally did: just blame it on me.  Win-win.

And away we go…

Bachelor Parties Gone Wrong

So Rmurdera’s sitting on his couch, watching King of Queens (best that TV has to offer at 3:30 in the afternoon when you skip out on work early), and trying to come up with 1 more blog post before the weekend.  As of 6pm tonight, he’s off to Tahoe for a bachelor party, so of course he wants to leave you all with 1 more juicy post to eat up over the next 4 days.  Problem is Rmurdera can’t think of anything to write.

Write about sports?  No thanks.  Red Sox season is starting soon, but Eric Wilbur from Boston.com already summed up the Boston sports fans’ feelings with this captivating article: Red Sox sweeping regret under the rug (Rmurdera is totally joking here.  Eric Wilbur is a no-talent douche bag who has no idea what Boston fans are thinking right now).  Not only does this clown miss the mark on the Sox by inferring that fans are still pissed and want the Sox players to own up to the end of last season (all we really want is for them to get through spring training healthy and start off better than last year’s 2-10 mark opened the season), but he’s also the same jackass that wrote this column after the Patriots’ loss 11 days ago: Blame Brady for this one.  Actually, not only are we NOT upset w/ Brady after that game, but we’re actually dying over anticipation for next season, knowing this team is on the verge of another 3-championships-in-4-years run.

Sorry, that paragraph really had nothing to do w/ this post.  Rmurdera’s just been fuming lately over certain Boston media members trying to cause a rift between the players & fans.

So anyway, Rmurdera thought writing something about bachelor parties would make sense.  Then he thought, “why not go on YouTube, find some crazy bachelor party videos, tell the world this weekend’s party was gonna be similar, and scare the shit out of every wife & girlfriend who has a guy going on this Tahoe trip.”  That would be hysterical, right?

Only problem is that when you search “crazy bachelor party” on YouTube, these are the only type of videos that come up: Bachelor Party Gone Wrong and Bachelor Party Gone Horribly Wrong.

What the fuck is wrong w/ everyone?  When did “hey dude, let’s throw Jeff a crazy bachelor party” turn into “male strippers grind all up on Jeff’s shit,” or worse, “Jeff’s friend dresses up like a female stripper and gives him a fucking lap dance?”

If Rmurdera ever got married and his friends did something like this to him, he’d calmly get out of his chair, walk out the front door, douse the porch with gasoline and put a match to it.

No one gets out alive.

Rmurdera out.