Don’t you dare say all I’ve ever given you is a daily dose of humor. I’m essentially handing $6 to anyone who reads this blog post. You’re welcome.
While you sit there on your fat ass all day long—doing nothing productive for mankind—I’m busy perusing all of the open class action lawsuits going on in the world, looking for anything that could make us all rich beyond our wildest dreams. And while this Ben & Jerry’s lawsuit probably won’t make anyone “rich” in the traditional sense, it’s still free money for doing absolutely nothing.
Here’s the website where you can get all the info on this lawsuit and even download the claims form you need to fill out to get paid: http://icecreamsettlement.com/
The basic overview is that Ben & Jerry’s and Breyer’s were claiming to sell an “all natural” product for years, but they were using an ingredient that’s technically not considered natural. Therefore, anyone who claims to have purchased these products within a certain time period is entitled to a piece of the settlement. While the total settlement figure is upwards of $7 million, your cut is exactly $2 per unit of ice cream you purchased. And before you jump the gun downloading the claim form ready to say you bought 10,000 units of this ice cream, they state that any person claiming to have purchased more than three units will have to show proof—like a receipt or bar code from the tub of ice cream. Good luck with that.
But seriously, why not fill out the claim form, mail it in, and happily accept your $5.55 (subtracting $0.45 for the cost of postage)?
Better yet, if you don’t care about earning this $6, why not send it along to your favorite blogger? A guy who’s been entertaining you for months (years in the case of readers of my other failed blog attempts)…A guy who’s never asked you for anything except for constant positive feedback.
I’m planning to setup 10-20 P.O. Boxes and fake identifications to really cash on this ice cream debacle.