How low can the Mets go?

This will be the first of many, many, many installments of “How low can the Mets go?”

I know most of this blog’s readers couldn’t care less about the Mets.  I know Rmurdera will likely throw a hissy fit when he see’s this blog, and say something like “You worthless piece of shit ass pie donkey face (yes that is how he speaks to me).  Nobody cares about you and your loser Mets.  People want to hear about cool teams like The Red Sox… who were basically crowned “best team ever” before last season and then failed to make the playoffs.  People want to hear about Tom Brady and how he can’t win a big game anymore, but boy does he have dreamy hair.”

Well maybe’s he’s right, but all I know is that when there’s a car wreck on the road, people slow down to see it.  And the Mets are about to embark on a 162 car pileup of a season.  Every game this season promises to be just a complete and utter embarrassment, and what better way to commemorate this disaster than an installment of “How low can the Mets Go” after every head scratching misstep they make.  You see, the funny (tragic) thing about being a Mets fan is that every time you think they’ve hit rock bottom, they find some crazy new way to sink even lower.

I mean we’re only in Spring training and I’m already behind the 8 ball with these installments.  Wilpon’s already running his mouth about how he’s going to own the team for a long time and that all the salary dumping has been based on “baseball decisions” and has nothing to do with how he’s a fucking idiot and got scammed by Bernie Madoff.  You know what would have been a good baseball decision?  Trading that scumbag Jose Reyes last July at the peak of his value and getting some dumb team to overpay with awesome prospects.  You know what’s not a good baseball decision?  Not trading him and letting him sign with a division rival when everyone knew you had no chance of signing him in the first place.

Then yesterday, Wilpon introduces “underdog” t-shirts cause he think’s The Mets are the fucking Royals or something.  I guess he’s hoping these will replace all of the “Fire Wilpon” shirts Mets fans seem to love.  Newsflash Freddy, you can’t be an underdog in New York City.  You can either do what you are supposed to do – field a 150 million dollar team and win…. or suck.

And apparently, when he was asked about his financial situation, he took about a bunch of five dollar bills, waived them at reporters and said he had plenty of money.  What alternate universe is this guy living in?  Even Friedchips is walking around with some twenties on hand.  Can’t get shit in New York for five bucks.  Actually, I guess you can probably score some decent Mets tickets.

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